Fucking roomie.

Sorry it's been so long, but I'm busy, and I'm Jesus. Get off my damn case. Anyway, it's been so long because I've been uber busy with work and x-box. Mostly x-box. Frankly, I'm only writing a blog now because I don't want to go completely ape-shit crazy and beat my room mate to death with a frozen hot dog. It's a long story, but I'm Jesus so you're inclined to read on. Fuckers. Ha.

Day one of my holding back the fists:

I get home from work to find my house in fucking tatters. I have lived here alone since '96. I liked it a lot. I had a few girlfriends pass through, but they get all weird about boning Jesus. So they eventually have to go bone my friends instead. This past year, money's been tight so I took in a room mate. It sucks. He lied about being clean, he lied about being responsible, he watches tv too loud, he eats my food and smacks his fucking mouth when he does, and he rarely flushes the toilet. I've talked to him many times about this, but since I'm Jesus, he always uses the 'forgive everyone' thing and leaves to go to the bar or something. Tangent. So on this particular day, 'bout two weeks ago, I come home from work to find my toilet in the living room. Then I hear the most dreaded sound any home owner can hear when they get home: Loud bangs of metal on drywall. Oh shit, that better be my room mate hitting his head against an anvil. No. "Hey man. I've been a dick lately, so I decided to do you a favor and remodel your bathroom." "What? I'm sorry. It sounded like you said you're remodeling my bathroom." "Yeah. I figured this house is pretty old and it needed it." "Okay. I'm going to go get shit faced and forget you are alive." "Okay, see you man."

Day two of me not swinging hatchets at everyone:

"Oh hey man. Sorry about your bathroom. It'll take me like a week to finish it cause I need to get the new drywall from work and my buddy's free on Wednesday to help me with it." "Okay, I'm going to go to work, then go to the bar and get shit faced to forget you are alive." "Okay man, see you later."

Day three of me not stealing a tank and running over puppies:

"Hey man, I'll put your toilet back in today, but my buddy isn's going to be help out on Wednesday cause his sisters Quinciñera (alt 164 for the awesome N tilde. Bitches.) is that day. Also the drywall hasn't come in yet. So it might be next week." "Are you still alive? Where's the rent for this month?" "Oh, hey sorry man. I'll get you the rent next week too, cause my boss said something about payroll screwing up." "Okay. Stop eating my food." "Okay." *smack smack smack*.
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Okay. I got distracted and saved this as a draft to work on it the next day. Now I'm bored and really don't want to finish. So, yeah. Long story short, I don't have cold water and my room mate isn't going to have an arm soon. Okay, I'm really bored now. Maybe I'll just go play x-box. K, thanks bye.